Marital Depression and How You Can Avoid It
Once the big fat Greek wedding is long gone and the ecstatic moments full of color, beauty, bliss and joyous glumness have passed away, the couple settles into their marriage. From that moment on their decisions will have a lot of power and can go either way. Their decisions can be very demanding for both or either of the partners and could have a far reaching effect on the quality of their marriage and lives.
Marriage has the ability to occasion infinite blessings and great tidings or bring in the worst depression, anger, strife and disappointment. The result is a very serious case of marital depression, particularly for a couple with no idea why it's happening. The important thing is identifying the areas where depression hurts most and finding the bests way of fixing these problems in the relationship. The result will be a well cultivated partnership and enhanced well-being for the entire family. On the other hand, chronic anger in marriage brings about depression.
Marital depression can be brought by the smallest of things
According to Couple and Family Psychology research findings, if a married couple is incapable of getting along well there'll be problems. As a result, these issues bring about marital depression with time. Wives and husbands who are always tensed, argumentative and constantly disagreeing have also been ascertained to be over 10-25 times likely to suffer from depression than most people in collaborative types of marriages or singles.
Also, if the discord in marriage is very serious and extreme one partner can seek depression treatment, but won't be very effective. For women taking anti-depressants and in a marriage, the research suggest that 50 percent of such had claimed to be in some kind of marital struggle that was contributing to the depressed feelings.
It's also important to note that the research observed depressive symptoms abated when the marriage improved. Over-dependence on anti-depressants might also not help that much; the research observed that those women taking antidepressants with slight improvements in their mood but continued with the intake of the medication as their marriage problems worsened, depression was observed to return even as the intake of the medication continued.
At the same time, discord in marriage was found to come just before symptoms of martial depression set in. If a marriage was characterized by continuous infighting, symptoms of depression never stopped. Also, those married couples who turned to drinking as a way of relaxing while avoiding and distancing themselves from their partners, in a way trying vent the hurt and anger in them and forget their problems, were observed to be depressed with their marriage.
There's great news though
On the flip side, there's great news for couples who decide not to let depression get the best of them and learn to engage one another and collaborate effectively in solving their problems and differences when they arose, rather than reign fire and tiff one another. Research has observed that the depressive reactions manifested usually disappear.
It means talking things out and solving problems together has a way of dealing a deathly blow to marital depression every time. It's critical to learn to communicate with one another better or even go for a marriage communication training program if need be. This is very important for couples who have been single for a long time and the only thing they know better is making decisions on their own. Such an attitude in marriage is bound to be problematic, and if there's zero constant communication the result will be a serious case of marital depression.
Improved conflict resolution and communication skills will help a couple regain positive connections they definitely desire, including more affection and laughter in their home. As depression abates and anger dissipates the result is a rekindled closeness and pleasure. Rather than spend evenings and nights alone in separate rooms the couple will find pleasure and delight in staying together long at night, sharing events in their lives and during the day and much more, ensuring depressive tendencies are completely forgotten.
Sometimes all that's needed to remove depression out of a marriage is a simple how-to formula that most counselors provide or a couple can come up with. In most cases, one of the partners in a marriage union thinks the problem is the other partner and the other partner thinks the same. At the end of the day, they come to realize the real culprit between them was lack of skill deficits and lack of how to diffuse or get out of the problem.
Loneliness is also a culprit
Loneliness is also another thing that brings about depressive illness in marriage. This usually happens with time as couples create walls between one another and the wife hardly feels safe in the presence of the husband, perhaps because of anger and increased experiences of loneliness before entering into a serious case of depression.
In most cases, loneliness usually develops out of marital hurts and unresolved problems and hurts in a relationship before the marriage, such as distant and poor parental attachment and relationship or divorce way before the couple got married. These things crop up often and while they are not really related to the current marriage, depressive illness results.
In such a scenario, it's important to note that love in marriage is very comforting and insanely powerful and the reason the individuals probably decided to get married. But, it'll never really fill that void in the heart that the lack of affirmation and warm love of a parental relationship left or issues from previous relationships.
As a result, the pain a partner feels will be confused with the current marriage, thinking it's what is depressing and that the spouse has refused to make them entirely happy. If the loneliness is not addressed and faced, the result will be very bad decisions in marriage, family life and around the life of those they really love.
